Monday, October 26, 2009

Well, that was fun

The month isn’t over quite yet, but it seems as if the fun is. I’d say I’ve been rejected, but I have a feeling that I don’t have a whole lot to do with it. The man I was seeing had a lot going for him, but the one thing I didn’t count on was the turmoil going on in his own mind. He’s been divorced for two years now, and I hoped that meant he was open to new things, but it seems that he is not. At least that is his story: he is still hung up on his ex wife. I do know from mutual friends that she has led him to believe on more than one occasion that they might get back together. With the holidays coming up, I suspect that issue might rear its ugly head again, actually. He’s got two young kids and he’s a devoted dad.

Whatever the truth may be, I was the recipient of what I call a Pre-emptive Dumping. When someone says they are afraid you are going to get hurt, so they’re going to end it now rather than later. Good times.

Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. To paraphrase Fleetwood Mac, I know how to pick up the pieces and go home.
What I wasn’t ready for was the big birthday event that we were both committed to attending right after that. The Jungle Quest birthday party was something that our kids were all excited about and had been talking about, and there was no graceful way to not go. I can’t think of a whole lot of other things I hate more than having to spend a day in close proximity to someone who has just dumped me. But M was really looking forward to the party, and so I made sure I looked really good, put on my game face, and we went to the party.
It was a great time for the kids. The main activity was zip lines: the kids were fitted in harnesses, then they climbed stairs up to high platforms, attached their carabiners to the zip line, and then jumped off into space. Some of the kids were clipping on in twos, and M and his daughter went together, clinging to each other like little monkeys. I was proud of M for being so brave and trying everything. She had so much fun. I enjoyed watching her and wished I could have done it, too. I was able to suck it up and smile, laugh, and talk to all the other parents and not let on that I wished I was back home under the down comforter.

Being a rip-the-bandaid kind of girl, I guess it’s just as well that I had to make that appearance right away. We do have several friends in common and our kids love to play together, and in the long run, he’s just the guy who broke my long dry spell.


  1. Oh maaaaaan. I'm so sorry, MtnMama. :( You are such a grown-up for putting your feelings aside and going to the party for the sake of your kiddo. I admire you for that. ((hugs))

    Phooey. Oh well, you're right -- at least you got some action and now you'll be primed and ready for the next, better Mr. Right.

  2. I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but at least it sounds like they were all good times, and no long drawn-out period of unpleasantness.

    I was dumped by a woman because I had, at one time, said that I didn't believe in dating for dating's sake (i.e. not dating someone if there was something about her that made her, in my eyes, un-marryable (I don't feel that way, anymore)), and, I guess, she had determined me to be un-marryable.

    I was still invited to her daughter's 3 year-old bday party, though, so I went. After I got there, she found her two best friends huddled in her kitchen. When asked why they weren't outside with everyone else, they said, "But Frank's here!"


    I spent most of the party playing with the kids on the bouncy thing. I thought I had broken her son's arm at one point, but, luckily, I had not. I had a good time.

  3. Oh, gosh darnit! This just sucks! Congrats on going to the party and holding your head up high, you're a bigger woman than I am!

    From what you had said, at least you had a "well this might not last, but I'll enjoy it while it does" attitude. And like Bev said, at least you got some. Because that's really the most important thing. ;) His loss, for sure.

  4. well hell. Sorry it didn't last longer, but at least he was honest with you...still sucks, but it could have been worse.
    I was once on the verge of dumping a guy when he preemptively dumped me...I was so pissed I was almost blinded with it! I mean, I would have married the guy to prove to him how great I was (just kidding)...and while I think I've got it together, you're a better person than I for attending the party.
    You're the best!

  5. I'm sorry for this... but you are certainly such a strong lady for going to the party. I hate the preemptive dump... if you don't want to hurt me, why are you hurting me?

    I like your last comment, the man got you through a dry spell anyway. Some people come into our lives for a reason, and some for only a season. I think each relationship teaches us something, even when it feels like it's at our own expense.

    Take care, birthday sister, and keep your chin up! :-D

  6. I love you all. Thanks for being so encouraging and compassionate. My life has definitely been one hell of a ride. I never want to be the kind of person who is so self-protective that I never risk disappointment - in love, in work, in friendships, in adventure of any kind. One thing about me is that you know where you stand with me, and I appreciate all of my friends so, so much.

  7. Well, as usual, I'm late to the comment party lol And, everything I was gonna say has already been said! Good for you for going to the party anyway. "Looking good is the best revenge" :) If he can't get over his ex, you don't need him around anyway..nothing good will come from that.

  8. What everyone else said... you did the right thing and showed more gumption than I might've. And yes, you got laid, which is rarely a bad thing, and had some fun, too. Luckily you didn't date him so long that M got attached to him. That always makes it harder.