Friday, April 24, 2009

Tea for two

I am extremely fortunate. I am reminded of this often.

I only have the one ex-husband, and having been put “off” marriage by that special experience, my sweet baby is technically what is charmingly referred to as a bastard. I owe such a tremendous debt of gratitude to every single soul who went before me who worked for social change so that I could live the life I do. I am in awe of the sacrifices that others have had to make so I haven’t.

My sweet girl has a daddy. We all used to live in the same house, and he changed diapers and all that. These days, we are on opposite coasts, but he’s in touch. My baby talks to her dad on the webcam once a week. For now, that is plenty. She has male relatives and friends, and so at this point, she is pretty well rounded. I make sure she gets to hang with our friend S as often as we can, not just because I like him so much and we have fun, but because he is a wonderful example of a man for my girl to be around.

I don’t have custody battles or fights over money. That is huge. Absolutely huge. And I know it. I support us and am fine with that role. I am not looking to change that. I am giddy with the prospect of living just the two of us in a few months.

I talk to several women friends about the traumas they have with their ex-husbands over their kids and I read several blogs that share similar stuff and I feel so very lucky that it worked out for me the way it did.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of having a nice, traditional family, but the universe saw fit to not only deny me a decent childhood, but hold that particular cookie out of my reach as an adult, too. And now that I have my daughter, and we are so happy, I can’t help but think I’m okay with it. You just never know what you’re going to get. What we’ve got is fine.


  1. Right on. I like your perspective.

  2. Thanks, Cary. That means a lot to me, coming from a married dad.