Monday, April 20, 2009

Colorado on my mind

I didn’t know any of them personally, and I am only connected by the randomness of geographical coincidence.

Ten years ago today 9/11 hadn’t happened yet. My daughter hadn’t yet been conceived. I lived in Jefferson County, Colorado, in a little brick house with my two black labs. I had just gone back to school to study Computer Science and was working a patchwork of part-time jobs. My life was hectic and absorbing and concentrated on overcoming some challenges that I’d been struggling with for many years. That was the year that I got my first real IT job, and though that year I only cleared about 18k, it led to finally getting a chance to work in a more professional capacity and away from the endless “service” sector kind of jobs that I had held until then.

I felt good about what I was doing, I was working toward something. That day I was glued to the TV and the phone. My friends and I were just stunned. I remember being irritated, though, by the folks who kept saying that it shouldn’t have happened there. I knew better. I knew that tragedy strikes when you aren’t looking, when you aren’t prepared, when you haven’t got a clue how to cope with it. I was a little girl when the rug was first pulled out from under me and everything changed.

It reminds me that I am actively working to get back there so that my daughter will begin her school years in that same county. I am glad that they’ve worked on their response policies and procedures. I’m glad there is more awareness. It won’t mean that nothing bad will ever happen, though.

I still can’t believe my daughter is really here, that she is so exactly what I always wanted, and that we have such a great bond. I don’t know what I’d do if something took her away from me, but I can imagine.

Ten years ago today I reaffirmed my belief that life is short. When 9/11 happened two and a half years later, I remember thinking again, “keep going.” Life is short.

I am going to voluntarily quit my job in the middle of a huge recession in ten weeks. I am going to stick to my plan and live this adventure. You just never know when things will change, and all you can do is experience as much joy and challenge and new stuff as you can while you can; I am sure that life has to be lived.

1 comment:

  1. What's the next big gig? What's your plan?

    And big tragedies definitely shake things up. Suddenly that box you have been packing and the precious things you fill it with seem really unimportant.